Mom, Get in the Picture! Creating Photo Memories Your Kids Will Actually Treasure
As a photographer and mom of three, I've seen too many beautiful mothers hide from the camera. Here's why you need to be in the frame with your kids—messy bun, tired eyes, and all.
I’ll Get in the Photos When….
"I'll get in photos when I lose those last 15 pounds."
"I'll get in photos when my skin clears up."
"I'll get in photos when I have time to do my hair properly."
"I'll get in photos when I'm not so exhausted."
As both a family photographer and a mom of three, I hear these phrases constantly. And I get it—I really do. In the daily whirlwind of motherhood, between the spilled juice, unfolded laundry, and bedtime battles, feeling "photo-ready" falls somewhere between "clean out the garage" and "finally organize the tupperware drawer" on our priority list.
But here's what I want you to think about: When your children grow up and look for photos of you together, what will they find?
What Your Kids Actually See (Hint: It's Not Your Flaws)
Last week, my 8-year-old was flipping through our family album and stopped at a photo from her 3rd birthday. In the picture, I was tired (3 kids under 5, need I say more?), my hair was in a messy bun, and I was wearing a t-shirt with what was probably someone's breakfast on it.
"This is my favorite picture of us," she said.
I asked her why, bracing myself for some brutally honest kid observation.
"Because you're laughing, and I'm laughing, and we're having the best time."
She didn't see my under-eye circles or the extra baby weight I hadn't lost. She saw joy. She saw connection. She saw her mom fully present.
The Photos We Wish We Had
Every time I photograph a family where Grandma finally agrees to be in a few photos "even though she doesn't like how she looks," I witness something powerful. The adult children almost always pull me aside and say how grateful they are to have those images.
These grown children never say, "I wish my mom had waited until she lost weight before taking photos with us." Instead, they treasure every image they have—and wish they had more.
Think about your own childhood photos. Do you have enough pictures with your own mother? And when you look at them, are you judging how she looked, or are you simply grateful for the visual proof of your shared history?
Why The "Perfect Time" for Photos Is Now
As mothers, we're experts at postponing things for ourselves. We put our needs last, thinking there will be a better time later. But here's the uncomfortable truth: there will never be a "perfect" time for photos.
Your body will continue to change
Your children will continue to grow
Life will continue to be beautifully imperfect
The only thing you're guaranteed by waiting is fewer memories captured.
Tips for Getting in the Frame (Even When You Don't Feel Like It)
1. Schedule a professional session
Yes, I'm a photographer recommending you book a session, but hear me out: When you invest in professional photos, you're more likely to prepare mentally, show up, and not delete all the images afterward. Plus, a good photographer (like me!) knows how to pose you in flattering ways and capture genuine moments that highlight connection over perfection. I also love to ask before our session what angles you don’t like and what things make you uncomfortable because I want to capture you in the way you do always love.
2. Hand your phone to someone else
At the next family gathering, birthday party, or ordinary Sunday morning, physically hand your phone to your partner, a friend, or even one of your kids. Ask them to take some pictures of you interacting with your children. This is my favorite. It’s when my husbands surprisingly is just capturing real life that makes looking back on the moment even more special.
3. Embrace the selfie
No one available to take your photo? Selfies with your kids count too! They're often some of the most genuine, fun images you'll have together. My kids love seeing the silly faces we make in our spontaneous selfies.
4. Lower your standards (seriously)
The photo doesn't need to be perfect to be meaningful. That candid shot where someone blinked? The one where your toddler is mid-meltdown? These capture real life—your real life—and that's ultimately what your children will want to remember.
5. Set up a tripod
A simple smartphone tripod with a remote is an easy way to take control of family photos without always having to ask for help. Set it up in your living room on a random Tuesday evening and capture your bedtime story routine.
From One Mom to Another
I'll end with a confession: I struggle with this too. Even as a photographer who knows better, I find myself trying to get the 100th photo because I don't like the first 99. But then I remember my daughter's words about her favorite photo, and I make myself get in the frame.
Your children don't care if you're camera-ready. They care that you're there—present, loving, and real because let’s be real that’s how they are seeing you everyday. The greatest gift you can give your children isn't a curated collection of perfect images, but an honest visual story of their childhood that includes the person they love most: you.
So the next time you're about to step out of the frame, remember this: Your children want to remember you exactly as you are—the mom who showed up, day after day, messy bun and all.
I look forward to working with you!
-Alexandria
Alexandria is the owner and lead photographer at Sunday and Co Photography in Madison, Wisconsin, specializing in authentic family, newborn, and senior photography. As a mother of three, she understands the importance of capturing genuine moments—and making sure moms exist in their family's visual history. Book a session with Alex today to create memories your whole family will treasure.